Finn considers Jack's feelings but not Li's?

[thecourt99]

I have to admit. I had a visceral reaction to hearing Finn talking about feeling as if he was betraying Jack by trying to find out about his birth father.

He had NONE of these concerns while trying to pursue a relationship or an understanding with Sheila.

I know that the writing is uneven and unfair and often ignores history for the new story, but I was still highly irritated by this.

[RedheadTeacher]

It bothered me today when he was referring to them as Jack and Li instead of Mom and Dad. Why is it that he finds it easy to call Sheila, the woman he's known for two hours, Mom?

He's said that Jack and Li were wonderful parents. I just wish that he acted like he appreciates that.

[GuidingLite]

Well in all fairness - Finn wasn't trying to find out about Sheila - she came to him...he is actively pursuing information about his biological father...that, to me, is the difference here....

[thecourt99]

Yes, Sheila initially came to him. But after that point, he went through this struggle of wanting to know who she is. He talked about it with Paris. He quickly called her mom at the hospital. Li didn't cross his mind during that time.

[TaySean]

Funny how that works isn't it?

Yet, Li Is still thinking about his feelings in regard to finding out that loser Jack is his father.

She's too good for those two bozos. They can get rid of the Finnegan men and keep her. I like her.

[RedheadTeacher]

I'm with you!

[Quintessential]

Li should wash her hands of her son, the man who calls her his hero and his role model because he's struggling with the knowledge that Sheila Carter is his birth mother? I don't think so. I'm more inclined to wonder why Li has been an absentee grandmother in her only grandchild's life? She knows Hayes' other grandmother is overseas in Africa doing mission work with doctors without borders. I like Li but I'm extremely surprised at her absenteeism during her only son's struggles.

[RedheadTeacher]

If Li is an absentee grandmother, I blame Finn and Steffy, not Li. Li met Steffy only just before the wedding. She's her mother-in-law, not mother, and she is likely respecting boundaries. I'm a mother and a mother-in-law, and my relationship with both my daughter and daughter-in-law is fantastic, but I would never invite myself over to my daughter-in-law's home.

It's on Steffy and Finn to invite her over and make her feel welcome. They had no issue with Paris moving in, so it's not like they're keeping Hayes from contact with others. We haven't seen Finn reaching out to his parents, even after the catastrophic scene when Jack brought Sheila over. As he's stated that he has a wonderful relationship with his parents, why is he confiding in Hope and Paris and not them? If Li isn't there, that's on him.

[crosey64]

I am seriously almost rooting for Hope to fall for Finn and they hook up, finding out Hayes is really Liam's son. Cannot BELIEVE Finn can be so childish and ridiculous to suddenly call the only 2 parents he's ever known by their names now and refer to Sheila as his mom. Especially after Steffy told him Shielas history with the family. Steffy settled for Finn. Rebound. Finn was star struck by the famous rich beautiful powerful Steffy Forrester. Steffy and Finn are a dud.

[Quintessential]

I haven't seen the episode yet where Finn is referring to his two parents by their names and calling Sheila his mom. The last episode I saw Finn was telling Steffy that Li and Jack will always be his parents no matter what and that he's feeling guilty for even wanting to know who his bio father is because his parents are so wonderful.

When I hear Finn say the words Li or Jack is when he's designating who his real parents are and talking about his real parents and he'll say Li and Jack are my mom and dad he doesn't say my mother and father are my mom and dad. At least that's the way I interpret Finn's use of the words Li and Jack. I've never interpreted it that Sheila is now in the mom role and Li is a has been.

[creativequeen]

Lol. Other than the one time, Finn referred to Li, as "Li", and called Sheila, "mom" for like what three days? It does not mean he has forgotten his mother, Li.

As a matter of fact, he told Hope, precisely, that Sheila will never replace Li. We were told on repeated occasions, that the reason why Finn became a doctor was because of Li. That is how close the two of them are.

They are STILL close. Finn is still in constant communication with his parents before we met them onscreen, and after they temporarily left. Just because we did not see Jack and/or Li for months, it does not mean he has neglected Li and Jack.

We were never ONCE told that Finn disrespected his mother Li because it simply never happened and he was never called out for it on the show. That is just not the narrative and pure fan fiction.

Also, it is important to note, that a lot of adopted children, for all their lives, feel a void and a sense of loss of identity. No matter if they came from a good family. The curiosity is just innate. It would be deeply unrealistic if Finn didn't want to get to know Sheila, or have questions, or know where he comes from.

Lastly, all of Finn's lines today, were all just for dramatic irony purposes. We know, as an audience that, Finn's biological father is Jack, but he doesn't, and it is quite ironic that he wants to get to know his biological father, when he has known him all this time. Just for irony, and nothing about treating Li, terribly. Finn loves Li, and respects her.

[veryoldatwtfan]

alwayshuntress I see what you’re saying. Maybe my problem is that I’m feeling very defensive of Li under the circumstances.

[creativequeen]

Finn has expressed concerns about Li's feelings. In fact, he did so, in a conversation with Paris, and how he sympathizes for what Li is going through.

[Quintessential]

I think Finn has been crystal clear that Li is his mom his hero and his role model. And that no matter what nothing or no one can ever replace her in his life.

[Emerald Greens]

Well I think there was a little extra about Jack because Finn is going to learn his dad knew all along. There was no reason for it to be worded like that it’s just to make it a bigger blow which is unnecessary it would still be shocking.

[kendallalways]

Well I think there was a little extra about Jack because Finn is going to learn his dad knew all along. There was no reason for it to be worded like that it’s just to make it a bigger blow which is unnecessary it would still be shocking.

And BB is anything but subtle....thinks we idiot viewers need clobbered over the head with THEIR VERSION of the facts...

[Quintessential]

Finn did not disappoint me at all today. And not only did Finn not disappoint me but I've been happy with Steffy the last two days because she's been understanding non-judgmental and she hasn't lectured or laid down the law. Finn said over and over that Jack and Li were his mother and father that he could not have asked for better parents they loved him dearly. He couldn't have asked for a better childhood.

I didn't see any reason for Finn to say he felt guilty towards Li because he wants to know who his birth father is. When he found out who his birth mother is he went over and took Li by the hand and told her he loves her and that she will always be his mother and that she is his hero. He was very loving and gentle with her when he introduced her to Sheila. And he called Li mom and he called Sheila Sheila.

[KG79]

It would be deeply unrealistic if Finn didn't want to get to know Sheila, or have questions, or know where he comes from.

No it wouldn't. My sister-in-law was adopted and she has absolutely no interest in knowing anything about her biological parents.

[alwayshuntress]

I agree. My uncle was adopted, and he had zero interest in finding out anything about his biological parents.

I think adopted children go both ways - just like some adoptive parents don't have any need to find out anything about the child they gave to a new family.

[alwayshuntress]

Also, it is important to note, that a lot of adopted children, for all their lives, feel a void and a sense of loss of identity. No matter if they came from a good family. The curiosity is just innate. It would be deeply unrealistic if Finn didn't want to get to know Sheila, or have questions, or know where he comes from.

This bit is so, absolutely, true. I'm adopted (with my identical twin)...technically an "in-family adoption" when we were 5 (the quotes are because the adoption was done illegally - although it's technically legal - it's complicated.). Unlike Finn, my adoptive life was challenging in its own ways because my parents didn't actually want us. What I did know growing up was that my adoptive parents (my bio-mom's mother and step-dad) hated both of my bio-parents. I had heard so many horrible things growing up - but even knowing much of the trauma we'd gone through before being adopted (and remembering some of it), I still desperately wanted to believe my bio-dad when he said we had it all wrong and he wasn't this bad guy when he found us on MySpace when we were 35 (he saw a picture of my twin and reached out).

Watching Sheila play with Finn's head is super hard for me because I've been where he is - and I fell for it, too. unUnlike him, I had every reason to believe he was a terrible person, but when he told me he wasn't, I just wanted to believe that he really was a good guy who never stopped looking for us. I needed to believe he loved me, and I ignored all the warning signs until some pretty awful stuff happened to and with his son (my younger half-brother) and I couldn't ignore it anymore.

So many things about this whole situation make it hard to watch. I don't think anyone, who hasn't actively dealt with being adopted and missing that understanding about where you came from, can really understand how hard it is to be faced with the person who can give you the answers and just walk away from them - even if everyone is telling you really fair and valid reasons why you need to.

I don't think it ruins Finn as a character - if anything, it gives him more personality and more layers, IMO. I just want him to realize he's being played and to walk away before it costs him everything.

Hopefully, this is clear and understandable - just thinking about all of this has me tearing up and shaking, so please forgive me if it's not.

[Quintessential]

It's very clear to me and I'm sorry you had to go through all of that. I'm not adopted but I see where Finn is coming from and I empathize with him. As someone who's been through it themselves I'm glad you can validate Finn's struggles. The other characters can only assume they know what he's going through but unless they've walked in those same shoes they don't know. It irks me to no end when one of the characters tells another character how they should feel when they have no idea how they should feel.

[creativequeen]

No it wouldn't. My sister-in-law was adopted and she has absolutely no interest in knowing anything about her biological parents.

In the case of a soap opera and plot drama purposes, yes, it would be unrealistic if Finn was not curious. That is not how adoption stories work on a soap.

Also, in the context, of my original phrase, I clearly specified that "a lot of adopted children feel this way" NOT ALL adopted children. I absolutely recognize that not all adopted children want to get to know their biological parents.

[Boldfan4ever]

It bothered me today when he was referring to them as Jack and Li instead of Mom and Dad. Why is it that he finds it easy to call Sheila, the woman he's known for two hours, Mom?

He's said that Jack and Li were wonderful parents. I just wish that he acted like he appreciates that.

its like he is trying to convince his heart to follow his head but it aint working

[soapoperation]

The way Finn has turned into a disappointment. I’ve should’ve known. No man can stay great on this show! Finn may not have a roving eye but he damn sure has a roving eye for his crazy bio mommy Sheila. Li is his mother and the way he doesn’t think of her but suddenly thinking of Jack’s feelings, we all know why that is, because floundering lying daddy is his bio daddy. The show couldn’t be more predictable if it tried.

I need Li, Taylor, and Steffy to build a strong bada$$ female wall around Hayes and Kelly because those idiots Jack and Finn will happily give Steffy’s kids right over to that lunatic Sheila and then wonder why Sheila ran off with them.

[creativequeen]

It bothered me today when he was referring to them as Jack and Li instead of Mom and Dad. Why is it that he finds it easy to call Sheila, the woman he's known for two hours, Mom?

He's said that Jack and Li were wonderful parents. I just wish that he acted like he appreciates that.

How is he not acting that he does not appreciate Jack and Li? We don't even see Finn interact with his parents, to even know, how he behaves with them.....His parents were not onscreen for months after the wedding, and they just came back this week.

The narrative has always been that he loves Jack and Li. Just because, he was curious to know about his biological parents, which is something a lot of adopted children feel, it does not mean he does not appreciate what Jack and Li have done for him.

After, that one set of episodes, he called Sheila, "mom", he never did it again. Because of that one error of judgement, suddenly, Finn is some horrible son?

[creativequeen]

RedheadTeacher

Jack and Li are not full-time cast members; that is the reason why we do not see Finn interact with them more.

Another example is that Taylor has not been onscreen for almost three years and has not been there for any of her children's recent medical crises, weddings, and present for her grandchildren, yet we are told that Steffy and Thomas are still connected and close to her. Even Steffy named her son after Taylor. We are told they still have a good relationship.

The same can be said with Finn towards Jack and Li. Again, just because, we do not see them, it does not signify that Finn has a bad relationship or that he is disconnected with them. The narrative is that there is mutual love and respect. Finn even said to Steffy, that Li was trying to put the Sheila chapter behind her. How would he know that if he had not reached out to Li and communicated with her? Clearly, he speaks to his parents often, but it just occurs offscreen.

Paris and Hope are contract members. It has to do more with the logistics behind the scenes. As for story purposes, sometimes speaking to a third party, about issues you are currently facing is easier. With Jack, Li, and Steffy, there are certain expectations and a lack of objectiveness when speaking about conflicting feelings. This is why people seek a friend (third party), social worker, and a therapist for help, not necessarily, speak to people involved directly in the situation.

[RedheadTeacher]

The writers have thrown Finn under the bus repeatedly since bringing him on, and it's no different now. Regarding Taylor, they seem to have learned a bit from multiple criticisms and now throw us bones with Ridge or Steffy speaking about conversations with Taylor. They should have done the same with Finn, especially as this is currently such a big story line. In his conversations with Paris, Hope, and even Steffy, Finn could - should - be mentioning phone calls with Li or Jack. Instead, we hear absolutely nothing about Jack and Li after the huge blow-up scene with Jack bringing Sheila to Steffy's home, something which made zero sense.

There's a difference with Taylor because we have seen the close relationship that she shares with Thomas and Steffy. We've only heard about it with Finn and Jack and Li, and his actions over the past months don't validate it.

There are many posters who aren't invested in the Sinn relationship because of how poorly developed their story has been. I think that the same thing applies to Finn's relationship with his parents and the way that he's handled the introduction of Sheila. Looking back, I think the scenes between Paris and Finn were an absolute waste of time as they undermined his relationship with Steffy, and, in the end, they led nowhere. Viewers deserve better.

[creativequeen]

RedheadTeacher

We are freed to think whatever, but it is just not the narrative.

Finn being disconnected and not having a close relationship with his parents, is just objectively false and pure fan speculation and interpretation. A lot of things just happen offscreen and thus the dialogue has just repeatedly told us that he is close with his parents. He became a physician because Li is one, that is how close they are. I don't need to be spoonfed everything.

Again, Finn speaking to Paris and Hope, is pure logistics behind the scenes, as the actresses were contract members, and Finn's parents were not, and it has to do with certain actors getting the episodes counts required in their contracts, not always storyline purposes.

I do think Finn's parents being on recurring and offscreen for a longtime does hurt the Finn character, and they should be more involved in the Sheila storyline, I just disagree that simply because we do not see Finn with his parents onscreen, that he ignores them and does not appreciate them. If Finn was estranged with his parents, the dialogue would have emphasized that.

The same way, that despite that Taylor has missed her children's weddings, Thomas' brain injury, Steffy's drug addiction and rehab, and a multitude of other big events in her children's lives, because the dialogue has told us that Ridge, Thomas and Steffy remain in contact with Taylor OFFSCREEN, I won't critique too harshly Taylor.