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I can't watch this hospital stuff wth Marlena....

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  • I can't watch this hospital stuff wth Marlena....

    Not because I think it's badly done but because I'm finding it hits too close to home.. I'm a little less then a month a way from the 16th Anniversary of my having to make the same type of situation with my mom. She had made it clear that she would not want to be kept alive by artificial mean so when the time came to make the decision to discontinue life support my dad, brother, sister and I were in agreement. So there wasn't conflict where that was concerned but she survived another week after she was taken off the machines so I was really questioning if we did the right thing.

    This probably seems like kind of a cheesy thing to post, because I know this is just a silly. melodramatic daytime TV show. I know that Marlena is going to make a miraculous recovery but for some reason I just felt the need to get this off my chest. Probably because of the timing. I guess you never really know when something is going to affect you personally.

  • #2
    Originally posted by Troy44 View Post
    Not because I think it's badly done but because I'm finding it hits too close to home.. I'm a little less then a month a way from the 16th Anniversary of my having to make the same type of situation with my mom. She had made it clear that she would not want to be kept alive by artificial mean so when the time came to make the decision to discontinue life support my dad, brother, sister and I were in agreement. So there wasn't conflict where that was concerned but she survived another week after she was taken off the machines so I was really questioning if we did the right thing.

    This probably seems like kind of a cheesy thing to post, because I know this is just a silly. melodramatic daytime TV show. I know that Marlena is going to make a miraculous recovery but for some reason I just felt the need to get this off my chest. Probably because of the timing. I guess you never really know when something is going to affect you personally.
    Troy, there are no words. I lost my mom 17 years ago as well; albeit it to cancer and not the same scenario. It's a tough story line for you to swallow and by no means is it a "cheesy" thing to post. If you need to vent, then vent! You are more than justified.

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    • #3
      I also went through this with my mom. It was 7 years ago. My mom lived about 2 months after she was take off life support. She seemed to rally and get stronger but just when we were planning on bringing her home she died peacefully in her sleep with my sister by her side.

      As far as the show is concerned I think Belle is moving too fast. She seems to be in a rush to take Marlena off the ventilator.

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      • gymguy68
        gymguy68
        Senior Board Member
        gymguy68 commented
        Editing a comment
        She is moving way to fast but she might not be thinking fully right now.

      • CincyLady
        CincyLady
        Aspiring soap scribe
        CincyLady commented
        Editing a comment
        I mentioned this on another thread - I haven't heard any doctor say she is brain dead or hopeless. But, as far as a soap goes, we will have to put up with these same hand wringing scenes for weeks on end or, in this case, take her off life support and let her heal which we all know will happen.

    • #4
      Originally posted by gymguy68 View Post

      Troy, there are no words. I lost my mom 17 years ago as well; albeit it to cancer and not the same scenario. It's a tough story line for you to swallow and by no means is it a "cheesy" thing to post. If you need to vent, then vent! You are more than justified.
      Your kind words are much appreciated, thank you. And I'm sorry for loss as well.

      Comment


    • #5
      Troy, I'm so sorry you had to go thru that. This is such a heart wrenching story to watch even w/o a personal connection so I can only imagine how hard it must be. It's definitely caused me to spend some time thinking about the issue for myself and family members.

      Comment


      • #6
        Originally posted by Dazed Babe View Post
        I also went through this with my mom. It was 7 years ago. My mom lived about 2 months after she was take off life support. She seemed to rally and get stronger but just when we were planning on bringing her home she died peacefully in her sleep with my sister by her side.

        As far as the show is concerned I think Belle is moving too fast. She seems to be in a rush to take Marlena off the ventilator.
        I agree about Belle which part of what makes this hard to watch. She's acting like no life support means do nothing means just give up/ It doesn't mean that at all and as a lawyer she should know thatl.

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        • #7
          Troy, we obviously have butted heads over the Gabi topic, but I hope you'll take my heartfelt words with the sincerity I mean them. I'm truly sorry you ever had to be put in that position to have to make that heart wrenching decision. I'm so sorry for the loss of your mother, and that very difficult decision you and your family had to face. I hope as each day and year passes, you find peace.

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          • #8
            Originally posted by Beca Drags View Post
            Troy, we obviously have butted heads over the Gabi topic, but I hope you'll take my heartfelt words with the sincerity I mean them. I'm truly sorry you ever had to be put in that position to have to make that heart wrenching decision. I'm so sorry for the loss of your mother, and that very difficult decision you and your family had to face. I hope as each day and year passes, you find peace.
            Your kind words are very much appreciated Becca. There's an old saying about grief being a journey and not destination and I've learned that very much is true. It never really goes away especially when the anniversary comes around and I don't know if gets easier but it more bearable I guess.

            And as far us butting heads over Gabi is concerned, well, there was a brief period of time about a year ago where I thought I was getting you close to seeing the light and I still have hopes of getting you there.

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            • #9
              Originally posted by Troy44 View Post

              Your kind words are very much appreciated Becca. There's an old saying about grief being a journey and not destination and I've learned that very much is true. It never really goes away especially when the anniversary comes around and I don't know if gets easier but it more bearable I guess.

              And as far us butting heads over Gabi is concerned, well, there was a brief period of time about a year ago where I thought I was getting you close to seeing the light and I still have hopes of getting you there.
              You're very welcome Troy!

              I can only imagine a small hint of what you went through. I lost my mother almost 2 years ago. It never came to the situation where I or any of my family had to make that very difficult decision of pulling life support, but it was clear her end was coming from 2 strokes, and there was nothing more to do for her. I did watch her slowly pass and go in and out of consciousness, and struggle to breath, as her lungs continued to fill up with fluid, for a little over a week, till she finally passed. It was one of the most gut wrenching times of my life, so I can only imagine adding to that of making that very difficult decision you and your family had to make. Yes, I know what you mean about grief, I miss her everyday, and still mourn her, but it becomes more bearable as time goes by.

              As for Gabi, not sure we'll ever find common ground on that, but let's just be glad, that is a fictional situation, and not this real one you speak of here.
              Beca Drags
              Aspiring soap scribe
              Last edited by Beca Drags; September 12, 2018, 06:04 PM.

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              • #10
                Troy, obviously this Marlena story brings back memories of your beloved mother. I am truly sorry for your loss and understand how painful this story is for you. Your mother knows, and appreciates, the painful decision you had to make. She is at peace, and with you in sprit always. Thank you for sharing your heartwarming story.

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                • #11
                  Originally posted by Beca Drags View Post

                  You're very welcome Troy!

                  I can only imagine a small hint of what you went through. I lost my mother almost 2 years ago. It never came to the situation where I or any of my family had to make that very difficult decision of pulling life support, but it was clear her end was coming from 2 strokes, and there was nothing more to do for her. I did watch her slowly pass and go in and out of consciousness, and struggle to breath, as her lungs continued to fill up with fluid, for a little over a week, till she finally passed. It was one of the most gut wrenching times of my life, so I can only imagine adding to that of making that very difficult decision you and your family had to make. Yes, I know what you mean about grief, I miss her everyday, and still mourn her, but it becomes more bearable as time goes by.

                  As for Gabi, not sure we'll ever find common ground on that, but let's just be glad, that is a fictional situation, and not this real one you speak of here.
                  I'm sorry for your loss, Beca.

                  And I couldn't agree more about what you say about the show being a fictional situation. I was a bit reluctant to post this thread at first but I'm actually glad. This forum can get a bit overheated at times and maybe we need threads like this every once in a while to give us all a little perspective.

                  Comment


                • #12
                  This isn't a cheesy post at all. Obviously, many people can relate and have similar reactions. Thank you for posting this and giving others an opportunity to express their emotions as well, Troy!

                  My heart reaches out to all of you and I know it cannot possibly help or ease the pain, but I still want to say it... I am sorry for the loses that you all have had to endure.

                  Comment


                  • #13
                    Thank you for sharing your story. I like this story because I work in a hospital and see this play out everyday in real life. Sometimes people agree, sometimes they don't, but it's always painful. I'm glad your mom made out an advanced directive so you knew you were following her wishes, often families don't have this document and you can image how hard it is for family members to make these decsions. Often family members are asked to come together and make this descion suddenly and without any warning, like Marlena's family.
                    Cat women
                    I Let My Evil Twin Post For Me
                    Last edited by Cat women; September 13, 2018, 03:33 AM.

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                    • #14
                      So sorry to hear about what you had to go through Troy I can't imagine how hard that must've been and I admire your strength .

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                      • #15
                        Originally posted by Flowercity79 View Post
                        So sorry to hear about what you had to go through Troy I can't imagine how hard that must've been and I admire your strength .
                        Thank you Flower City.

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