Moderator
It would have been interesting for us to have seen the twin's reactions to their separation. We have seen them involved in so many family issues it seems strange not to see them weigh in on this huge family shift.
Seagreen
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Contract Poster
It would have been great to see any of the kids' reactions to the news. So far that hasn't happened. I wonder if any of them would have said to either parent, "good for you. (insert name of other parent here) treats you like garbage. It's about time you split up."
Aww... I forogt about them. I woild love one to be against it and one to be fine with it.
Executive Poster
the kids, renee and others etc...
would probably want to get them backtogether.
it is a shame that it had tohappen,
there is hope; if carlos and gabby can get backtogether, as well as susan and mike,
maybe lynette and tom can reunite.
Contract Poster
I loved that the person Tom had gone out with wasn't the hot young instructor but her mother. I think that Lynette got it finally, that Tom could move on without her, that he could find someone to have a real relationship with that wasn't her. When she thought he was going out with a beautiful young woman, she could stereotype the woman as being brainless and their relationship all about Tom finding a trophy, but when he was dating an older woman, more their age, she realized Tom's attraction wasn't all about the physical. I'm glad to see Lynette get set back on her heels.
Aspiring soap scribe
You know over the years I thought there was plenty of blame to go around who was causing problems in there relationship. At first I though Tom was just an idiot and Lynette was my favorite character but over the years I come to really like Tom it didn't come easy. But I truly can't stand Lynette now. She is an cruel manipulative cold hearted controlling witch. Who can't get her way and control her husband like she use to so so she dumps him. Thinking no one would want him and is surprized when someone does someone who is actually nice to him. I hope they don't get back together she is just nuts who wants to put up with all her drama?
Executive Poster
lynette seemed that way since the show aired.
lynette was probably jealous.
it seemed as if she never appreciated him.
he put up with her b.s. all these years, lynette would have probablysaid that
about any woman besides herself, that wasn't with tom.
she'll have to fight for him, or cut her loses.
Lurking in the Shadows
Darn, Tom couldnt wait until the ink dry on the divorce papers. They are not divorced and he is bringing a woman around his kids. MEN! And that woman he is dating must be desperate to go after a man with a wife and lots of kids.
Executive Poster
What pisses me off about Tom is that not only is he continuing to throw his new girlfriend in his still wife's face but he is letting her get cozy with the kids and letting her stick her nose in things that ain't her place and business. Frankly i don't tihink Tom should be showing up at Lynettes all the time with her it is an insult to Lynette and all the years of marriage they had and kids. So now i'm on Lynette's side because quiet frankly Tom is acing like a selfish teenager right now.
Moderator
I think that Tom should be showing a bit more respect towards Lynette and not bringing Jane over when he picks up Penny. Weren't they just in marriage counselling 5 minutes ago??????
He should be easing Jane into the relationship with Penny ....... not including her at every opportunity.
I feel bad for Lynette.
Also, since we have seen many of their family life storylines include Parker, Porter, and Preston, it seems odd that we haven't seen even a single scene of the boys reacting to their parent's separation. Sloppy writing imo.
Seagreen
GL Forum, DH Forum, & International Soaps Forumsoapcentral.com
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Scriptwriter
I'm all for the Lynette/Tom separation. Reason being that from as long as I can remember Lynette has always come across as trying to mother Tom and have him be one of her children.
Board Regular
I don't care how much of a witch Lynette has been, they have 22 years of marriage and 5 kids. Before Tom called it quits marriage counseling should have been the solution. And no Tom you don't go to marriage counseling while you are dating another woman. How insensitve is that? No Tom you don't bring a woman around your kids that you have been dating for 5 mins. No Tom you don't bring her to your house. Shame on Tom. Did Lynette and he have problems? Of course. But lets not forget that for years Lynette took care of the kids, worked, and etc while Tom did nothing.
Contract Poster
I'm not remembering when Tom did 'nothing'. He had a job and then he had the pizza restaurant. After that, he went to school which didn't work out. I think he was out of work while Lynette was pregnant, and tried to take over her job while she was on maternity leave. I don't remember how she ended up staying home, and Tom ended up working for Carlos which was his job until his current job. So, I'm missing where he had years of doing nothing. I agree that Tom's bringing Anne into his kids' lives is totally wrong, and he shouldn't do that. However, it was Lynette that went to the gym to stalk the woman she thought Tom was dating, based on Penny saying that he talked to her at the apartment complex. I agree that both Lynette & Tom should have tried harder at counseling, but it was Lynette who threw Tom out. It was Lynette that refused to consider either counseling or reconciliation with Tom after the night they had sex. Lynette has only gotten interested in getting Tom back after she saw him move on to another woman, an intelligent older woman that looked like real competition. Even at the beginning of tonite's episode, Lynette was so sure that she had the upper hand with Tom that she told Renee that there would be no sex, with the assumption that of course Tom would want sex with her but she would not give him any.Originally Posted by Nichole43119
Contract Poster
Not only a child, but a child who failed. For a long time, she has been in competition with him, and she can only win if he loses. That ridiculous scene over where to go on a family vacation was a perfect example. Instead of being happy they could afford to go to Hawaii for 2 weeks and glad that Tom could take so much time from his job, she threw a hissy fit and acted like the kids would be eaten by sharks if they went to Hawaii.
Recurring Poster
IMO Tom is just looking for an excuse to CHEAT!!!! TOM was the one that decided to TEST THE WATERS and date other women and to introduce those women to HIS CHILDREN when he and Lynette aren't even divorced... IF Tom wanted to save this marriage he wouldn't have been on the dating scene for so long... AT least LYNETTE had the restraint to not jump into bed with the guy that she met. Tom pretty much tossed away his wedding ring the minute he could
~Ana
Recurring Poster
I found it totally selfish that Jane basically said she doesn't respect their marriage and wont give Lynette a chance to make it right.
Board Regular
If you watched closely, then hinted when Lynette was about to go back to work that she was always the main breadwinner of the family. So yes he was doing nothing. Don't take things to literally. It was a comparison to what she was doing. Attending college while you have 3 kids at home to feed is doing nothing. She was paying the bills. The was in charge because she was the bread winner and took care of the family. She is even the one who pushed him to get the job because he wasn't going to take the job he has right now.
Wouldn't you go to gym to see the woman who you thought was dating your man within 5 mins of you separating? She was curious. What is wrong with that. i am sure if your husband of 22 years broke up with you, you'd want to know who the "competition" was. She didn't stalk her. I doesn't matter how broke up with whom. The fact that they are broken up is the point. Are you telling me if you left your husband of 22 years he would be dating other people WHILE you were in couple's counseling. That he would just move on and give up on 2 decades of marriage and 5 kids? What kind of man does that. Lynette did not refuse counseling. She stopped when she found out he was dating another woman!! What kind of person dates other people WHILE they are in couples counseling. How can you seriously say you want to fix your marriage if there is a 3rd person in it?
After they had sex, they went to counseling so I don't know where you are going with that one. She wanted to take things slow. She didn't file for divorce or separation. I really don't get what you are saying. Are you saying it's okay for a man who isn't even legally separated from his wife to date other people after maybe 1-2 months of separation. Are you saying it's okay for that man to start dating WITHOUT telling her while they are in couples' counseling. The reason they stopped going to couple's counseling is because HE was DATING another woman. So Lynette said she wasn't going to sleep with him I wouldn't either after he has been sleeping with this other woman. Would you? Tom gave up really easy on his marriage.
Board Regular
Yes this is the problem! I know Lynette was acting like a witch over the vacations, but come on. If Tom wanted a divorce he should have filed for one. He couldn't wait to cheat. He is cheating now. They aren't legally separted. They are on a trial separation and Tom is loving every minute of it. He forgot his wedding anniversary and was sexing up another woman on it?? Tells me he doesn't give a care about Lynette or his family being together.
Contract Poster
what I'm really saying is that I'm glad Lynette & Tom split up. I thought they were awful together. I see more faults in Lynette & others see more fault in Tom. Whatever. In divorce, it really doesn't matter who did what or who was worse. Isn't it enough to see that these people are much worse together than they are apart? I agree that Tom should build a wall between his dating life and his kids and Lynette. That's part of divorce 101, and his number 1 priority should be doing the right thing for his kids. Making his girlfriend part of Penny's life isn't doing the right thing by Penny.
Should Tom forego dating while he's still legally married even though he's separated? I don't really see a problem with separated people dating as long as their dating partners know what a precarious situation they're in. I would agree that it's a sign that Tom is no longer committed to saving his marriage. That doesn't make him a bad person. It just makes him someone that doesn't want to be married to Lynette anymore.
I think the outcome (divorce vs reconciliation) is too close to call at this point. My personal view is that if Lynette asked Tom to commit to counseling and said she wanted to stay married to him, that she was willing to meet him halfway, then he would stop dating and work on solving their differences. But these aren't real people, and it is up to the writers how this turns out.
Contract Poster
That wasn't what was shown on screen, hints or not. When the show started, both Lynette & Tom had jobs. Then Tom started the pizza restaurant where they both worked. Lynette was not always the main breadwinner.
Don't agree with this at all. My husband was in grad school when our kids were little. Being in school when you have kids is not "doing nothing".
After the burial, Lynette had trouble sleeping. One night, she went to Tom & had sex with him. In the morning, Tom was in a very good mood, talked about how it would be tough, they had things to work on but with a good counselor blah blah they could get back together. Lynette very quickly set him straight, they were NOT getting back together, her having sex with him wasn't about getting back together. She was not interested in counseling or working things out; they were still over. That was the morning they told the kids they split up & Tom moved out. Later on, they had another tiff & decided to go to counseling. So, true, it was after they had sex that they went to counseling, but the events were not connected.
Lynette knew before the session that Tom had gone out w/ Anne. He told her at the gym. She made a scene & stormed out of counseling because Tom admitted he might someday have sex with someone he was dating. It's typical for Lynette to make sarcastic hurtful statements to deflect when she feels bad. That's what she did here. It didn't help at all, nor did running out.
Tom is taking Lynette at her word that she isn't interested in getting back together. As time goes on, he is getting less interested in getting back with her, but she has gotten a lot more interested in getting him back. Too bad she can't just tell him that. It was sad, even pathetic, that on anniversary, Lynette made such a big deal out of how they weren't going to have sex only to discover he wasn't interested in sex with her.
Day Player
For all the talk of how emasculating and abusive Lynette supposedly is to Tom I have never seen someone who is supposed to be so hen pecked get his way as often as Tom does or someone who is supposed to be such a bullying shrew cave to her supposed victim's whims as often as Lynette does. I can't see Tom as a victim. He gets too much. Lynette has faults for sure, but he milks them for all they are worth justifying why he deserves his way to the point that he uses Lynette's flaws to his advantage.
Board Regular
In my opinion, Tom is a JERK. I believe that if a man and woman are married then sleeping with someone is cheating. I think Tom is having his cake and eating it too. He has Lynette still being the one to set boundaries with the kids. Lynette is still being the one to basically raise the the two still left at home and Tom can have his fling and be the "fun" parent while Lynette does the grocery shopping, managing the house, helping with homework, running the errands and etc. From what I remember, Lynette has always been the bread winner. Which came up in the conversation that sparked the divorce. Tom said that Lynette always got to make the decisions because she always brought home the majority of the household income. But now that he makes the money, then what he says goes. This of course was when they were discussing about Hawaii. I think Lynette had valid reasons. First and foremost, she had spent weeks planning this vacation, and Tom didn't bother to communicate with her. HE just went to a travel agent and decided this is what we are going to do. I think what sent Lynette over the edge was the lack of consideration Tom gave her over what she does for the family. She has picked that family up more than enough. I said all of that to say, I hope Lynette gets strong files for divorce and starts dating. Maybe the guy (chef) that was in love with her at the Pizza place and the owner of the restaurant that burned will come back and sweep her off her feet. Then Tommy Boy may realize that when someone you love starts sleeping around....it doesn't feel so good.
Day Player
Not only had she spent weeks planning the vacation before Tom sprung the Hawaii idea
1. She told him she had and they agreed that was her thing to plan
2. What did she plan? Something that sounds an awful like what Tom said he wanted a couple years prior on a workable and reasonable scale.
Last edited by seagreen; 11-24-2011 at 02:26 PM. Reason: Not necessary to quote post directly before your own
Tom and Lynette have a lot of issues in their marriage, as evidenced over the years, so I think a separation and some time to regroup and cool off was in order. Them going to counseling was a good idea. That said, how can one have a desire to save their marriage, while pursuing other relationships? That does not compute to me.
I don't blame Tom for getting fed up with Lynette, b/c I saw for myself how she could be and vice versa, but I'm sorry, he is just flat out wrong for this Jane thing. He wants a girlfriend, fine. He wants to bring this woman around his kids and allow them to develop an attachment to her, fine. What isn't fine is that fact that he's doing all of this while remaining married to Lynette. It's extremely telling to me that he hasn't filed for divorce, yet he's moving on to "greener pastures." He can't have it both ways. It's disrespectful to Lynette and their children.
Also, I found it appalling how disrespectful Jane is about the situation. She says that her husband cheated on her and left her for someone younger, if I'm remembering correctly, and how painful that was so she gets how all of this can be hard. Then she declares that she's not letting Tom go, a man who has not made a definite decision either way. Tom could decide that his wife is who he wants to be with and drop Jane like a hot potato. That's why Jane shouldn't be attaching herself to someone that's not completely available. If she gets her feelings hurt, she will have deserved it.
If Tom wants to move on, then he should....in every sense of the word. He needs to divorce Lynette. I wonder, though, that if it comes to that and Lynette truly moves on, would Tom be okay with that?
Day Player
For me the timing of Tom walking out seemed wrong. Lynette stuck by Tom through God knows how many mid life crisises and flights of fancy in the past 2 decades and now that he's where he wants to be all of a sudden she's disposable. Her controling ways (that frankly carried his cute butt through 2 decades) are no longer tolerable. He wants to put on his big boy pants now and be the man he wasn't consistantly and Lynette's just supposed to snap her fingers and adjust to the change and trust in an instant. That isn't going to happen. There are personality traits that do not turn on or off like a switch and if Tom wants to take on an adult role he needs to give Lynette time to adjust to that. He has been treated like a child, but more like a pampered one who's been coddled by his mommy.
There has to be some acknowledgement that Tom contributed to and frankly even benefited from the personality traits that he is pinning as so negative on Lynette. It allowed him to be the good cop because Lynette will handle the unpleasant things he'd rather not. It allowed him to put aside responsibility and chase whims because she had his back and could catch him if he fell. I mean I can see why some might find Tom's personality more fun and more pleasant than Lynette's, but a lot of that is because it was a heck of a lot easier for him to be happy go lucky when he had her to take care of business so he didn't need to worry than it would be for the one with the burden of taking care of business on her shoulders.
Last edited by shenbrat; 11-23-2011 at 02:01 PM.
Contract Poster
But Tom didn't just 'walk out'. It was a mutual decision that they separate, at least for awhile. When he thought Lynette was making a move back to him, the night she went to him after her bad dream & had sex with him, she made it clear that the sex didn't mean they were getting back together. That was when he moved out. He left, as is often the case, so that she could stay in the house with the kids.
I agree that the timing was weird, because Lynette pushed him into the new job & pushed him so he could make more money & have more toys. Then as soon as he had the job, she started undermining him. She blew off the type of office he said he wanted. She badly embarrassed him at the conference with people he was trying to impress. The thing with the vacation - agree that Tom was out of line to go to a travel agent and present the trip as a done deal, but Lynett'es reaction was just odd. I do the vacation planning for my family and it can be a lot of work, but I didn't see that Lynette had done that much work or made that many plans for the vacation. She had gotten some brochures & that seemed to be it. She hadn't rented a vehicle, she hadn't planned the route, she hadn't made any reservations along the way, etc. She hadn't discussed the trip with any of the kids, and when she did, they didn't want to do it.
It really felt like Lynette had his back as long as he kept failing. When he succeeded, she got mad.
Day Player
Tom (who brought up the idea of moving out and left on his own free will) was out of the house already when they had sex. They had to run back to the old Scavo home before the kids woke up to keep up the facade he was still living there.
The office thing and the behavior at the seminar were wrong on Lynette's part, but I really don't see why the behavior would be considered as designed to undermine Tom as much as jealousy or the control freak nature of her personality. Wrong, yes, but not done to hurt Tom or bring him down.
As for the vacation, yes Lynette did make reservations, plan the route, etc. That's what she reminded Tom she told him she did a few weeks prior and why she took him changing the plans already made like a blind side.
I don't see any reason to think she was mad he succeeded. I'd say she was mad he lorded over her with it and became Mr. Big Shot. I'd imagine if he was appreciative she would have responded to his success much better. You brought me here. I couldn't have done it without you. Those phrases may have went a long way when he was discovered in her old job that she could have taken back and she could very well have had the opportunity.
Contract Poster
I would have said that Tom was still living at the Scavo house. He went there when he wasn't at work, all of his stuff was there, he got his mail there, etc. True he wasn't sleeping there but I'm not sure where he was sleeping. It was some building that was very close by, that he had access to without the neighbors knowing about it. It was close enough that Lynette felt comfortable leaving her house for the night even though she has a baby/toddler in the house (something she shouldn't have done, and something Tom should have brought up as soon as she showed up at his door. But I digress). Is there a second building on their property, or a room over their garage with a separate entrance? After the night they had sex, they told the kids that Tom was leaving. Then he rented an apartment elsewhere, moved some of his belongings there, and started using it as a base of operations. I see that as when he moved out, & it was something they both agreed to.
You're probably right that Lynette wasn't consciously trying to undermine Tom at the conference. She does what she often does, act in a totally selfish manner, do something totally ridiculous (steal that woman's badge, hide under Tom's bed, let Penny know that liking Jane is betraying Lynette) w/o regard to anyone else, & then later realize what she did was wrong & had an effect on others. She's not the only one on this show that does this but it really irritates me about her. She is usually totally sorry later & will often apologize, but she does it over and over.
As for his office - don't know about that. He said what he wanted, she ridiculed him, Renee pulled her back, & then she bought what she believed 'best for' him to have. Fortunately, Renee went behind her back to decorate the office the way Tom wanted it. It was very demeaning to Tom that she assumed he didn't want what he clearly said he did & that she laughed at him about it.
Day Player
Not only isn't the ink dry on the divorce papers, the papers are blank and the ink is in the pen. Neither have filed.
Day Player
I don't dispute that entirely, but I see it as only part of the story. I saw Tom as treated like a spoiled indulged child who pouts to mommy until he guilts her and gets his way. Also, guy who wants to be free of the responsibilities of making the unpopular choices and is happy to let the wife be the bad cop is a party to a relationship where he allows her to make the choices. He has to own that he has been a Peter Pan.
Board Regular
Shenbrat,
I totally agree with you. Tom has always acted very teenagerish...especially when it came to being a parent. Lynette has always been the strong one in my opinion. I am hoping that for once she can move on away from this overgrown boy and find love with someone who is willing to man up and treat her like a lady. Respecting her and not putting her through crap all the time. JMO
Day Player
I'd also love to know how Tom will explain his relationship with Jane to Penny if he and Lynette do reconcile. "Daddy was just putting himself out there seeing about his options with other ladies before he decided if the split from Mom was going to be forever or just a little while."
The more I think about it the less I care Lynette put Jane in a bad light when it came to Penny (and in turn that caused her to look differently at her dad). If I was 12 or 13 and my dad was dating when my parents hadn't even filed for divorce I'd have seen her as a mistress and him as cheating. Mom wouldn't have had to say squat to turn me off the girlfriend, I'd have seen even being able to stomach her as disloyal to my mother.
Last edited by shenbrat; 11-29-2011 at 11:56 AM.
Board Regular
Then don't go to marriage counseling. Don't begin dating someone without telling your wife 1st. Go file for legal separation or a divorce. Do something other than schedule a marriage counseling session while you are kissing another woman behind your wive's back. What is pathetic is that a man would move on from a 20 year marriage without at least filing for separation. It was a trial separation. Most people do trial separations in hopes that they will eventually reconcile. This woman could be a pedophile for all he knows.
Board Regular
Yes, maybe Lynette can sometimes be hard to live with but come on, they have not filed for divorce yet, why is he allowed to date other women? I do not understand Jane in all of this. How can she call a married man her boyfriend? if she gets hurt at the end, I hope she won't start blaming others. I so want Lynette to find a man, a real one not a grown up teenager like Tom. I can not stand him right now. I'm perhaps biased because Lynette and Bree are my favorites (God, I can't stand Susan) but the way Tom has been treating Lynette lately is not good. Are they still in counseling?
I agree with anotheroldfan on the vacation issue. I did not understand Lynette's problem then. She should have been happy that they were able to afford going to such a great place but instead of that she turned it into another competition. I know some would say she had been planning the whole thing but I don't think since she wanted to do what they have usually done.
Anyway, I believe it is better for both of them to get a divorce...............how sad, the only stable couple on the lane.........
Day Player
I can not believe Jane had the nerve to call Lynette Tom's ex.
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