Parentsí Worst Nightmares: Salemís Biggest Problem Children
by, 08-20-2013 at 02:30 PM (26584 Views)
This is the time of year when kids put away their summer scrapbooks and reopen textbooks. Unsurprisingly, this is a joyous time of year for certain parents. Mainly, those who were stuck...er...blessed with spirited children. We all love our little darlings, of course. But sometimes, itís those other darlings that really need a good long stint in time out. So, in honor of the back-to-school season and our Summer of Sinners, your faithful Two Scoops columnists now present to you the Top 10 Problem Children of Salem!
Julie Olson (1965-1987; 1990-1994; 1996; 1999-present)
The original problem child -- and a Horton to boot! (Shock!!!) Hard to believe that when the show started, shoplifting was Julieís biggest problem. It didnít exactly go up from there. The little minx sort of got involved with a con man. Whoops! And didnít stop scheming until she landed her motherís husband. Who knew this little tart would turn out to be one of our most beloved characters? Shows what a good singing voice will do for you!
J.J. Deveraux (2004-2006; 2013-present)
Losing your father as a teenager hasnít been easy on any Salemite. J.J. is no exception. But the fact that he only seemed to be heartbroken over his dadís death when it came to his mom dating Daniel and not say, for example, when he learned that his cousin was willing to sign away the rights to his child, was hard to swallow. Oh, and throw in the fact that he took up the role of Salemís newest drug king pin and we kinda get why Jennifer was pulling her hair out over this kid. Good thing he had those dimples. Those will get you far in soap life, young man.
Chelsea Benson-turned-Brady (2004-2009)
Before she could grow into the sassy gal that she is today, little Chelsea Benson started out as kind of a harlot. She crushed hard on Max Brady, a little too hard for an under-age chica. Then, what in the name of Julie Williams was she thinking to try to move in on her motherís boyfriend, Patrick Lockhart? Finally, she did the near impossible and split up Hope and Bo for a few weeks. Yikes! Good thing she cleaned up her act to save her dadís life and become besties with Hope!
Will Horton (1995-2007; 2009-present)
When it comes to living a scheme-free life, Will is possibly the most genetically disadvantaged child in all of Salem history. The scheming for this kid goes back generations, on both sides of his family tree, and took up a massive chunk of his childhood. And while we love the out, proud, and taking-bullets-for-bad-guys chap that heís grown up to be, we would be remiss if we didnít point out that he sorta shot a man and gave his parents hell every chance he got while growing up.
Jan Spears (1999-2002; 2003-2005)
What did you do on your summer vacation from college? Hang out with your friends at the pool? Work a cool part-time job? Travel the world? Lock your crush in a cage, dress up in a wedding gown, and taunt him with videos of his girlfriend moving on with his best friend? Yes, Jan did the last one. We donít recommend it.
Eve Donovan (1987-1991)
Fans might remember tortured-soul-with-a-feisty-side Eve fondly, but Kimberly Brady might disagree. So would Jennifer Horton. You could probably add Sarah Horton to that list, too. And, well, a lot of other Salemites scorned by the young vixenís antics. Yes, Eve caused just a few problems during her time in town. And by ďa fewĒ we actually mean she caused more problems than the hourglass has sand. She lied, schemed, stole a car and hit Sarah, schemed some more, lied some more -- actually, she schemed and lied a lot more Ė and even took credit for others' good deeds to prop herself up. Nope. She wasnít a saint. Eventually, though, the love of Frankie Brady made Eve give up her wicked ways, though we have to wonder what kind of trouble sheíd get into as an adult if she should return to Salem.
Stefano DiMera (via flashbacks 2007)
Weed through the bad mustaches and fake accents of the Vendetta storyline of í07 and youíll learn that Stefano was the one who actually told a young Shawn Brady that Santo was married, knowing full well that Shawn would run and tell big sis, thus, Stefano would succeed in breaking up the forbidden love affair between Santo DiMera and Colleen Brady (a.k.a. ďNot Stefanoís Mother). But his plan backfired with when Colleen dumped Santo (dumped him/threw herself off a cliff out of shame -- what ever you want to call it) and he grew into a bitter, mean, resentful father. Stefano placed all that blame on the Bradys and hasnít really looked back since.
Gabi Hernandez (2009-present)
Thereís the saying that ignorance is no excuse. But darn it if Gabi didnít put every word of that to the test. She became so obsessed with her bestieís boyfriend that she whipped up a fake stalker to get said boyfriendís attention. Then, when the ďfakeĒ stalker turned out to be a real mental patient and kidnapped Melanie, good olí Gabs went along with the plan, ordering him to keep Mel locked up and diverting the police investigation every chance she got. Gabi then moved onto marry a homophobe and did nothing to stop him from spreading his hate. But itís not like she knew or anything. Itís not like he told her that he thought being gay was wrong. Oh wait, yes he did -- immediately before she decided to sleep with him.
Nicholas Alamain (1992-1993; 1999-2000; 2011)
Young Nikki was raised by Vivian Alamain. Do we really need to go on as to why this kid was a messed up brat? Oh, we do! His biological parents were psychopath Lawrence Alamain and hot mess Carly Manning. Although he didnít know about his parentage at first, weíre pretty sure genetics played a part in creating his Ďtude. His biggest crime was killing Lisanne Gardner. He did so to protect Auntie Viv, so we can probably let that one slide, but that doesnít negate that he began to play down and dirty when he decided that Lawrence and Carly should be reunited. He made life for lovers Bo and Carly downright miserable. Lucky for him, Vivian buried Carly alive, and when she came to, she couldnít remember much of her present. Carly simply believed she was still in love with Lawrence, and skipped town with him and Nikki to live happily ever after. I guess we can score one for the brat this time. Sorry, Bo!
Sami Brady (1984-1992; 1993Ėpresent)
The ultimate problem child of them all, Samiís problems started when she was young and they can all be described by the same word that can describe Sami to this day Ė overreaction! What to do when she caught her mom cheating on her dad? Why, sell her baby sister on the black market! Should she go through therapy after the horrible trauma of being raped by Alan Harris? Nope! Just shoot him and then grow up to rape someone else! It all made perfect sense. At least to Sami. And thatís all that matters.
Now itís your turn! Who would you turn down a babysitting job for? Or which kid would you pray not to get as your college roommate? Tweet us -- @LaurisaDays and @Tony_S_Days -- or write their name in the comment section, add a check mark, and circle it!